“Anti-septic? This is going to take some adjusting.”
A probable statement by an erstwhile pro-septic Rip Van Winkle, encountering mouthwash for the first time:
Filed under Jokes
Some clutch headlines ripped from the front page of The Evening Post in Miller’s Crossing
Miller’s Crossing is a movie I will always watch, any time it is on, possibly in breach of other more (economically) pressing engagements. Imagine my delight just now when noticing not only that it’s suddenly available on instant netflix (we are discussing here a hard-copy diskette I had in my hot little hands a few short months ago) but that I can make out some headlines shown in the Coen-imagined Evening Post. The majority of these headlines I recall being illegible when previously pausing the screen with my old roommate Troy.
Here I have recounted all the headlines I could read, and one which I partly cannot.
Gangland Slaying
Politician’s “Aide” Found Dead in Alley
Carbo to Challenge Levander
Municipal Sewage Contracts to O’Bannon
Chinese Money Dips In Canton
Kung (illegible) Chinese
Forced by Weather To Cut Radio Programs
Girl Heckles Mayor
Boys Club Disbands
On the back of The Evening Post is the sports page, seen immediately after, which contains this best (and most Gabriel Byrne-subtle-wince-inducing) headline:
Thunderclap Inured in Racing Mishap
The entire rest of the sports section headlines exclusively concern gangster-controlled horse racing.
Consider the attention to detail. There is text for all these articles, difficult to discern, but clearly legible close up. The Freres Coens had a newspaper made! “Girl Heckles Mayor,” for crying out loud! Required viewing!
Filed under Film
Excerpts from two separate voicemails from strangers in Boca Raton for a person named Neal, left for my roommate, whose name also happens to be Neal:
Hey Neal, this is your brothers. Got your text message last night…
Hey Neal, the beach is calling, we hope you’re on your way…..
Filed under Uncategorized
Something Enjoyable These Days
Any chance you get to see Patrick Raynor improvise, take it. He always plays the truth, gives generously onstage, and his eyes are always reveal a locked-in character. I find it something enjoyable these days!
http://ioimprov.com/chicago/performers/patrick-raynor
Filed under Uncategorized
A Kind of Obsolete Vernacular
In a previous post I quoted from and copied a link to Eli Cash Intro (from Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums) on the YouTube. I regret tremendously not placing it in the body of the text, so that we could all revel in the triumph of this character (and lend credence to everything I proclaim henceforth).
I think about Eli on a weekly if not daily basis, and am inclined to reflect further. Continue reading
Filed under Being Human, Film
The Verbatim Info Summary of “It’s A Wonderful Life” on my cable:
It’s A Wonderful Life
7:00pm – 10:00pm
A banker goes back in time.
Filed under Uncategorized
A Joke I Thought Of, Waking Upon My Natal Day
Gentleman: Dude, don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Rapscallion: I’m supposed to put my eggs into what now?
Filed under Jokes
Introducing: IDSR
Last week the Detroit Tigers Baseball Club was swept by the Royals, then swept the White Sox to tie for first place in the Central, and then on Labor Day lost to the Indians in the first game of the next series.[1] Now, baseball is a funny auld game. Consider that each day is as important to the players as the last day of the season, and then they must immediately forget it happened. Win or loss, it’s water under the bridge. This kind of compartmentalized mental focus is inherent in the game, much as George Will characterizes baseball as requiring great ‘equipoise,’ remaining relaxed until the exact moment of vigorous action. Continue reading
- [1] The provenance of three so-called “double plays” (worth two outs) including one with the bases loaded and one away, vouchsafed the Tribe’s escape with a 3-2 win. ↩
Filed under Baseball, Being Human